Q: In what Spirit do you “correct” others?
OK, so many of you know that I am a mom. In a few weeks, my youngest will be a teenager, making me a mom of two teen-age boys (please help me!)
I have always taken my role as a parent very seriously. It started before I even got pregnant. Then, oh my goodness, I had not one, not two but THREE “pre-natal” books that I read and kept up with along the “journey” of pregnancy. (no, I am not “bragging”…LOL)
I suppose you could call me obsessive, but, coming from a bit of a broken home, I just wanted to do everything that I could to parent “right.”
From what I have read and observed over the years, there are two distinct methods of correcting a “child:”
1. There is the type where you can beat your child into “submission” via intimidation, yelling, spanking, sometimes name calling and the like.
2. Then there is the type where you can speak firmly but respectfully to your children. There is no spanking, but “time outs.” There is no yelling, no name calling.
No matter which type is chosen, the parent feels as though they are expressing LOVE to their child and perhaps so, but in what “spirit” is that expression being made?
Although type one parenting is likely to be the most common type of parenting, years of research has shown that type two is more effective. Not only does type two teach the child proper behavior, but the children raised with this type of parenting tend to grow into more emotionally healthy adults. (that’s understandable, given that they weren’t beaten, yelled at, intimidated, ect.)
I’m sorry that this is getting so long, but my point is this:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. [1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV)]
I don’t know about you, but that doesn’t sound anything like type ONE “parenting.” Maybe that is why it is not “effective?”
No matter WHO we are dealing with, whether it be our child, a friend, a co-worker or a person on MySpace, how often do we say that we are expressing LOVE, but doing so in the spirit of HATE?
Notice how the children in type two parenting grow into more productive, emotionally stable “ADULTS”? That says a lot to me…What does it say to you?
In what Spirit do you “correct” others?
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