The other night, as I was requesting my family to make their way to the supper table, things took quite an unexpected turn.
Enter Mr. PB&J (whom I have mentioned before, and is 13, by the way).
He complains: “SEE! I told you that you make the same thing every night. ALWAYS meat, ALWAYS a vegetable and ALWAYS either potatoes or rice. See… (as he points at the various dishes) THE SAME!”
Isn’t serving from the food groups a GOOD thing? Anyway…
I reply: “Well, son, if you don’t like what is being served, you are welcome to make something for yourself, or you can go hungry.”
At that, he goes to the freezer and spots the bag of chicken nuggets. He grabs the bag.
PAUSE STORY: You know how, after taking things in and out of the freezer, there becomes a bit of a “disarray” of things? Well, the chicken nugget bag had been turned, front of the bag towards the back of the freezer and slightly upside down. Additionally, it was also in a place where the bag was getting caught on the freezer basket.
RESUME: He jerks the bag. Just as I turned around to encourage patience and to “help,” he jerked the bag again. (He’s a big boy, so there was a lot of “muscle” in the jerking.) The bag breaks free and… You guessed it…chicken nuggets…
ALL OVER THE FLOOR!
The next thing that happens was so not expected. He turns around and looks at me with anger in his eyes, “SEE WHAT YOU DID!”
I didn’t touch that bag… How was that MY fault?
You see, he blamed me because the bag had gotten turned around and caught on the freezer basket. He blamed me because I am the one usually taking things in and out of the freezer. He rather justified his error by blaming me. I can see his “angle” but the fact is, truly it was HIM that made a mess of that situation.
Was it not his responsibility to assess the “situation” and plan accordingly?
I wonder…how often are we blaming others and justifying ourselves in that blame without really assessing the situation and planning accordingly?
The classic example of this is scripture is Adam and Eve. (you had to know I’d go there…) Pardon the paraphrase but, knowing the fruit had been eaten, God asks, “Adam, what did YOU do?” Adam answers, “I didn’t do it, SHE did it.” And then, Adam goes further and tells God it was HIS fault for making the woman in the first place.
This blog is NOT about the “apple;” rather, it’s about the dialogue and the blaming that took place. Hadn’t Adam & Eve failed to assess the situation and plan accordingly? Upon their “failure,” they then refused to take responsibility.
We do the same thing all of the time.
As soon as something turns ugly, we look for someone/something to blame. Just as Adam did, we blame others, and we often end up blaming God. My friends, placing blame is not the answer — it only causes us to harbor anger and resentment.
Accept responsibility when it belongs to you, and pray for God to reveal to you the ways you are placing blame when the responsibility is yours. Then, make peace with yourself and others by letting go.
Don’t get caught repeating what happened in “the garden.”
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