It’s been four months since my last relationship. Unfortunately, I got my heart broken. It wasn’t fun and it certainly wasn’t pretty, but it happens.
As I finally feel ready to move on and open myself up again, I found myself thinking, maybe THIS time is going to be the charm. Then I realized, EVERY time is a “charm” (blessing/treasure). Every time may not have a happy ending, but every time has value of some kind. A lesson; an experience, an opportunity to grow.
I was with my last ‘charm’ several weeks ago and he asked me, “Will I always be the guy that broke your heart?” At the time, I felt pretty positive that he would be. Not to sound harsh, or bitter, but I was still hurting. Since then, I have found myself reflecting and giving thanks for him, our time together and even the broken heart.
You see, he was the first real dating experience since my divorce. Yea, I had been involved with someone else before him, but it was a long-distance relationship and often lacked the things that really made it feel real. I went into this last relationship cautiously, trying to keep myself from falling for him. I could sense that he wasn’t fully opening himself to me, but he was opening himself enough that I fell and fell hard.
After we broke up, I waited for about a month then tried to date again. My efforts failed: I wasn’t ready. So, I threw myself back into my writing, back into building relationships with friends, back into my family and back into my spirituality. I kept busy finding more of the ‘self’ that I had lost while I was married and I came to realize that my heart wasn’t truly ready for that relationship in the first place.
I hope I am ready for that kind of relationship now (minus the heartbreak, of course), but, regardless of what happens next, heart break or love found, I believe EVERY time is a “charm.” Every time has a lesson to learn. Every time has something that it teaches about ourselves and others.
Bring on the charm!